Are you brave enough to try something new?

By Jenni Lloyd

 

I can confidently say that I am in my ‘mid-life’ years. I learn new facts all the time but new skills…rarely. 

I have always played sports, and I like to think I played them pretty well. I grew up as a swimmer, a runner, a soccer player and later in my teen years, I added volleyball, badminton and anything else I could join in with. 

I learned to skate, as many children born in Canada do, but I never was enrolled in ringette or hockey.  Engaging with the sport of ringette came much later in life.  

Sport has the power to transform lives. I really do believe that. Considering I have worked in the sporting industry for the past 18 years, it’s the one thing that I have always been able to put my passion behind. It can give us resilience, courage, self-belief and a sense of belonging. I truly believe this with everything I have. 

Ever since I have been working in ringette I often get asked…how long have you played for? When did you start playing? What team did you grow up with? Do you coach anywhere?  

Because I work in ringette, of course, the assumption is that I am a ringette expert, which I most certainly am not. But do you need to have personally excelled in a sport to fall in love with it? Of course not. You absolutely don’t have to be the best at something to enjoy the heck out of it!  Being active, and ensuring there are opportunities to enjoy sport and the lifelong benefits it brings is so important regardless of what level you have attained.  So why is it so hard to admit?

As a midlife adult, the prospect of trying something brand new often only sparks an idle interest, something like wondering what it might be like to live in some small town you pass on the highway, but also knowing that it’s a question you are very happy not finding the answer to. 

There’s also the fear of being bad at something you think is worthwhile, and, maybe even more so, being seen to be bad at it, when you have become accustomed to knowing (more or less) what you’re doing. What’s the point of starting something new when you know you’ll never be much good at it? Middle age bring with it many things, one of them being greater emotional equanimity – the lows aren’t as low, the highs not as high – so starting new at something would seem to put me right back into that raw emotional churn that I normally don’t have to deal with anymore – exhilaration, self-doubt, fear, but I now have to face it all without the open-ended possibilities and renewable energy of youth.

Trying something new is hard. It’s really hard. Allowing yourself to be vulnerable and opening yourself up to making mistakes is something the majority of adults struggle with. Women particularly face negative attitudes and behaviours from others, whether conscious or unconscious, when exposing any vulnerability. This is particularly evident in sport because there are always spectators. People will be watching.

Society often tells us: If you are going to do something you must be good. If you show an interest in sport you must sign up for a team and do it formally. If you sign up for a team you must play house league. If you played house league last year you should try out for competitive B. If you played B last year, you better try to move up to the A team…you should keep climbing the ladder. At. All. Times. 

We all start out surrounded by expectations that will limit our enjoyment of and participation in sport and physical activity. Sports are fun. Allowing yourself to feel the enjoyment and focus less on the performance can open up a whole new world to an amazing sport that you never knew existed. And if you choose to focus on performance later because you want to – that is amazing. 

So, now we have come full circle back to my personal journey with ringette. I am participating in a Come Try Ringette event that is specifically geared towards adults. Am I nervous?  Of course!  Am I going to feel the fear and do it anyway? Absolutely! 

Part of my personal growth in my life is to stop passively and/or unknowingly passing down stereotypes that can have negative consequences for both girls and boys. I have a son and a daughter, and I want my kids to see me trying and succeeding. But I also want them to see me trying and failing. I want them to see me fall. But more importantly, I want them to see me get back up again, and again, and again.

I want them to see that I can try something new and enjoy it because I want to, rather than resting in my comfort zone of only continuing to do the things that I know I am good at. As adults we should all try recalling what it felt like to learn how to do something new when you didn’t link  – or care – what your performance said about your place in the world. When you didn’t know what you didn’t know. It might feel like a whole new beginning. You might even enjoy yourself.

 

Jenni Lloyd
Communications, Engagement, and Marketing Director
Ringette Canada
jenni@ringette.ca